040/366 - 02/09/12 Music; spent half the class wasting on talking about shit I can’t remember. Spare was okay; agatha showed me some awesome songs from K-On which I am now going to learn :) thank god for new, exciting piano music. Chem killed my brain a bit; I could process what we learned, but I couldn’t do it when I tried it by myself. Skipped out on music council meeting cause I was fucking fed up and didn’t want to be squished on the back room with 50 billion other bodies, so when Christine saw me she invited me to “sell” tickets at our invisible table. Watched people buy roses; makes me feel a bit bitter and I wish I had enough money to buy some for all the people I wanted to buy some for. But I’m tight on money, so no roses for anyone :( Did the written response portion for The Tempest; it was okay. Finished quite fast. Religion was bearable; went to the lab. Honestly wish I didn’t have to take it, but I have no choice if I want to graduate and get my diploma. Fuck. Spare chats with my BFF and laughing at photos on Siana’s phone. Oh god, Baby Whale’s laugh kills me sometimes. Skipped out on Honour Band to pull out volunteers. Kind of didn’t really care if Milan was disappointed in me. I’m too exhausted and don’t give much of a shit for Honour Band. Left early to go to Lolo Andy’s viewing. Fell asleep on the car ride there cause I was so tired. Cemetery was creepy >_> So happy to see Uncle Rico; god damn I missed him a lot. Hugged Monty. Interesting viewing as the pastor asked people to come up and share moments spontaneously. One guy (I can’t remember his name) Lolo Andy’s nephew, was freaking hilarious and lively. Just one of those people who’s well rounded and you’d want to be friends with :) Loned it out afterwards after eating as my parents ditched me. Turns out my mom was talking to Uncle Rico the whole time in the chapel. Dammit I really wanted to talk to him :( Today I realized how pathetic I am, and how much more I want to be. But I can’t. I feel like if I disappeared no one would notice. I’m so boring and don’t have much of a personality; I don’t know how people put up with me. I’m so tired of myself. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore; how I’m even living through these days always empty. Lots of texting discussion with people. My brain hurts. I need sleep. I need to get shit done. Fuck.

040/366 - 02/09/12

Music; spent half the class wasting on talking about shit I can’t remember. Spare was okay; agatha showed me some awesome songs from K-On which I am now going to learn :) thank god for new, exciting piano music. Chem killed my brain a bit; I could process what we learned, but I couldn’t do it when I tried it by myself.

Skipped out on music council meeting cause I was fucking fed up and didn’t want to be squished on the back room with 50 billion other bodies, so when Christine saw me she invited me to “sell” tickets at our invisible table. Watched people buy roses; makes me feel a bit bitter and I wish I had enough money to buy some for all the people I wanted to buy some for. But I’m tight on money, so no roses for anyone :(

Did the written response portion for The Tempest; it was okay. Finished quite fast.

Religion was bearable; went to the lab. Honestly wish I didn’t have to take it, but I have no choice if I want to graduate and get my diploma. Fuck.

Spare chats with my BFF and laughing at photos on Siana’s phone. Oh god, Baby Whale’s laugh kills me sometimes.

Skipped out on Honour Band to pull out volunteers. Kind of didn’t really care if Milan was disappointed in me. I’m too exhausted and don’t give much of a shit for Honour Band. Left early to go to Lolo Andy’s viewing.

Fell asleep on the car ride there cause I was so tired. Cemetery was creepy >_> So happy to see Uncle Rico; god damn I missed him a lot. Hugged Monty. Interesting viewing as the pastor asked people to come up and share moments spontaneously. One guy (I can’t remember his name) Lolo Andy’s nephew, was freaking hilarious and lively. Just one of those people who’s well rounded and you’d want to be friends with :) Loned it out afterwards after eating as my parents ditched me. Turns out my mom was talking to Uncle Rico the whole time in the chapel. Dammit I really wanted to talk to him :(

Today I realized how pathetic I am, and how much more I want to be. But I can’t. I feel like if I disappeared no one would notice. I’m so boring and don’t have much of a personality; I don’t know how people put up with me. I’m so tired of myself. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore; how I’m even living through these days always empty.

Lots of texting discussion with people.

My brain hurts. I need sleep. I need to get shit done. Fuck.

11/2/2012 . 0 notes . Reblog